No such thing as a free lunch.

Zoe and I are working on creating the shopping lists together so she feels like she has a say in what we are buying and has yet another chance to recognize some sight words. The short list in one hand, sippy cups in both, and a snack cup of something advertised as kid-friendly and mother-approved between them, we headed into the warehouse of all warehouses. It started out as a quick trip to Costco - diapers, formula, wipes, bottled water and kitty litter. With two kids in the front of my cart I knew I could totally stick to the list and be out of there in half hour with less than $125 out of my cash stash.

"Zo Zo! Lil X!" gushed our great friend Kelley. It's amazing that she is as excited to see us as we are her - which is at least once a week. Kelley waved my fake-looking-for-the-membership-card attempt off and started asking Zo if she had gotten the pipe cleaners we needed last week to create the monster for her play date.

Kelley is the type of friend you don't see outside of Costco, but when you do see her, it's like homecoming. We could lean against an oversized shopping cart and gossip for hours (or at least until another momma and her brood come in at 10am on a weekday morning) until the Samples of all Samples smells drift up to the front of the store. Then it's a quick Peace Out! to our greeter and off to tempt our tastebuds with freebies.

The intention was simple - get in, get out, and get on with our day. But come on... free baked brie, croissants, ice cream, four kinds of lunch meats, dish detergent samples, hummus, rotisserie chicken salad, corn dogs, pita chips, Go Gurt, Belgium chocolates, energy bars, various smoothies, and jelly beans all being handed out like our lives depended on tasting them... who could pass up the parade of vendors on our way back to the kitty litter? A dozen napkins each, two drained sippy cups, and a momma going back for just one more baked brie (I got lucky, the vendor was bending down behind her stainless steel charriott) and I could easily grab three more morsels of cheese sent from heaven. SCORE!

Who says there's no such thing as a free lunch?

We pulled ourselves away from the samples - seriously, do they magnetize these carts to return over and over again to the steel carts of goodness all around the Holyland?

$300 in produce, items off our list, and a cool sand and water table we needed - it was so cheap! - and six various items from the sample people hawking their wares, we sprinted back to the front of the store to check out before more damage was done. And trust me, damage could be done... gorgeous 800 thread count sheets marked down to $60.97 (when does that happen, really) and a twenty-four pack of Pyrex I could use were calling my name... as were the Tommy Bahama towels I felt would look great holding our lawn chairs at the pool this summer...

Receipt in hand, employee following us with items that absolutely could not be worked back into our cart, we headed to the exit.

My nerves were alive as I realized those sheets may never ever be available again. Maybe I should turn back and get some? Nope, stay focused. Eyes on the exit.

"Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu See!" Zoe screamed as she tried to scamper out of the cart.

"Miss Z! What's happening?" our favorite customer service rep Lucy asked, thrilled to see her two favorite shoppers.

We started chatting and I mentioned I was borderline on the sheets.

"Just got some. Amazing. I'd have paid retail for those."

The words weren't even out of her mouth as I left the kids, carts, and two thrown off Costco employees to watch my babies.

Dodging past the old coots who could spend days perusing every aisle, I flew back to the linens, grabbed two sets, and then saw the piece de la resistance... a gorgeous gallery frame set for above our bed. Grabbing all of the items, and breaking into a cold sweat, I made it back to Lucy, the kids, and two filled carts with almost $500 in trinkets later.

"Wow! Quick trip, huh?" Lucy joked as she helped me haul everything to the Golden Egg, aka minivan.  "Hope you enjoyed your free lunch!"

As we drove off Lucy waved and said, "Oh, thanks for the Christmas card! The kids on Santa's lap was priceless!"