I cannot say NO. It's not because I am unable, mute, or not aware of all the directions I am pulled day in and day out. I cannot say NO for one reason: I do not want to say no! I want to go, go hard, and do it all. I want to be the momma who is involved in everything; not creepy, suffocating momma, but room mom, Parent-Extraordinaire. So I am.
Last Wednesday I was responsible for procuring pizza for the Little Friends pizza party. It's a monthly fundraiser that for $5/child they get a slice of pizza, fruit and veggies. In all honesty, it's really so the mommy's get a day off fighting their preschoolers on which vegetable they will attempt to taste. See, we must send in five - yes, five - of the food groups in their lunch. Fantastic on paper. Miserable in practice if your son is anything like Xander.
Xander has some sensory issues that make meal times a challenge. Not a challenge like "Take five more bites and you can have a snow cone" or even "Take three more bites and you can have a pony" that my friends talk about. Nope, this is balls to the walls prying his pinched, pursed lips and locked jaw to get three bites of ANYTHING down his throat within a three day span. I have literally dangled a Popsicle, Pop-Tart, and Eggo in his face in attempt to see a single calorie intake for a 24 hour period to get a "Nah" as he walks away.
So packing his lunch isn't the easiest of exercises. He sees his puppy dog insulated tote come out and immediately starts with, "I no lunch." It only gets worse when he sees a wayward carrot slipped into the bag along with a single strawberry. Forget the Ritz crackers and a single cheese cube (which apparently round out his "acceptable" list, right behind Apple Jacks and, well, um... a grilled cheese once upon a dream), this kid saw the veggies and it isn't pretty. Thankfully, we aren't the only home dealing with this carb-a-holic dilemma of what to pack her preschooler. One of my closest friends once admitted to using the same baggie of carrots and apples until they molded and then starting fresh a month later. All year. Hey - she SENT the food. The miracle workers in the classroom could deal with getting the preschoolers to touch the food!
Back to last Wednesday and the procuring of pizza.
I got to the Costco Food Court as it opened and was surprised an elderly man in a wheelchair was already ordering. I offered to help him with condiments on his hot dog - he declined - and then I immediately ordered an abundant amount of 18" goodness in the form of molten cheese and crust so chewy it's been known to beat the Tooth Fairy at her own game by taking in loose teeth to never see them again. I had 45 minutes to kill, so I took to the aisles of retail glory that is warehouse shopping.
While picking through a pile of girls Speedo suits for $6.99 ($6.99!!!) my elderly friend was scooting along next to me and stopped close by. I glanced over and then jerked my head back, unsure whether to call the police or ask him if he needed help finding the (now missing) bun. Sitting in his lap was a Costco-sized hot dog. Not on a plate, not wrapped in foil, and without a bun. Just laying there in a creepy greying crotch/leg of a man with a twinkle in his eye and grease on his sweat pants.
I dropped the Speedo ($6.99, people!) and walked away as tears squirted out of my eyes. I couldn't laugh... right? Was this a joke? What in the hell?
I watched woman after woman drop an item, blush, and move away as Wiener Gate 2012 took place. And I tell you what... that twinkle in his eye told me that this wasn't his first time to play with his wiener in public.
Last Wednesday I was responsible for procuring pizza for the Little Friends pizza party. It's a monthly fundraiser that for $5/child they get a slice of pizza, fruit and veggies. In all honesty, it's really so the mommy's get a day off fighting their preschoolers on which vegetable they will attempt to taste. See, we must send in five - yes, five - of the food groups in their lunch. Fantastic on paper. Miserable in practice if your son is anything like Xander.
Xander has some sensory issues that make meal times a challenge. Not a challenge like "Take five more bites and you can have a snow cone" or even "Take three more bites and you can have a pony" that my friends talk about. Nope, this is balls to the walls prying his pinched, pursed lips and locked jaw to get three bites of ANYTHING down his throat within a three day span. I have literally dangled a Popsicle, Pop-Tart, and Eggo in his face in attempt to see a single calorie intake for a 24 hour period to get a "Nah" as he walks away.
So packing his lunch isn't the easiest of exercises. He sees his puppy dog insulated tote come out and immediately starts with, "I no lunch." It only gets worse when he sees a wayward carrot slipped into the bag along with a single strawberry. Forget the Ritz crackers and a single cheese cube (which apparently round out his "acceptable" list, right behind Apple Jacks and, well, um... a grilled cheese once upon a dream), this kid saw the veggies and it isn't pretty. Thankfully, we aren't the only home dealing with this carb-a-holic dilemma of what to pack her preschooler. One of my closest friends once admitted to using the same baggie of carrots and apples until they molded and then starting fresh a month later. All year. Hey - she SENT the food. The miracle workers in the classroom could deal with getting the preschoolers to touch the food!
Back to last Wednesday and the procuring of pizza.
I got to the Costco Food Court as it opened and was surprised an elderly man in a wheelchair was already ordering. I offered to help him with condiments on his hot dog - he declined - and then I immediately ordered an abundant amount of 18" goodness in the form of molten cheese and crust so chewy it's been known to beat the Tooth Fairy at her own game by taking in loose teeth to never see them again. I had 45 minutes to kill, so I took to the aisles of retail glory that is warehouse shopping.
While picking through a pile of girls Speedo suits for $6.99 ($6.99!!!) my elderly friend was scooting along next to me and stopped close by. I glanced over and then jerked my head back, unsure whether to call the police or ask him if he needed help finding the (now missing) bun. Sitting in his lap was a Costco-sized hot dog. Not on a plate, not wrapped in foil, and without a bun. Just laying there in a creepy greying crotch/leg of a man with a twinkle in his eye and grease on his sweat pants.
I dropped the Speedo ($6.99, people!) and walked away as tears squirted out of my eyes. I couldn't laugh... right? Was this a joke? What in the hell?
I watched woman after woman drop an item, blush, and move away as Wiener Gate 2012 took place. And I tell you what... that twinkle in his eye told me that this wasn't his first time to play with his wiener in public.
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