Gumby

Chest high in freezing cold water  at 5:25 am is when you see how many jumping jacks, scissor kicks, and cross country lunges you can muster before your toes and fingertips fall off. Surprisingly, I can do quite a few. I can also make new friends easily.

Rebecca and I are settling into our new routine of unGodly hour exercise and to be honest, we are enjoying it. We've also gotten more comfortable in the water and do more with our mouths than take in chlorine - we  talk to the assortment of other aqua-sizers a bit too big for the bathing suit they squeezed into while their partner snored loudly in the warm bed they crawled out of exactly 8 minutes earlier (cause who gets up and moving a second before they have to before the sun comes up AND kids are sleeping?).

So, we did the usual, "WOW! This water is cold! Was it this could yesterday?" routine and once our shoulders drop from our ears and we get used to the "heated pool" (yes, it is heated compared to a pond in northern Michigan in, say, January) and kick around in the shallow end.

Some women immediately grab their water weights, just in case the usual 12 are bombarded by 24 more geriatric and/or obese class go-ers and they cannot have the exact weights. Newbies are hard to come by - I think the collection of white, sparse haired ladies, blubber-covered young ones, and overall splashing like Shamu coming from the pool is enough to make the Speedo-clad run and take cover in the two open lanes.

We were all telling stories of things we did in our youth. Most were stories of when we acted like a chump. As I told mine I failed to mention that this happened yesterday, not a decade and eighty pounds ago. "I just wanted to see if I COULD bite my toenail. I saw a thing on You Tube with these chicks who don't use clippers and just throw their leg in the air and chomp the nails away! So, I thought today was as good as any to`try!" smiling as no one seemed to catch that I was either obese AND flexible or was skinny when You Tube debuted. Bless their (slowing down) tickers! "So, I threw my right leg up to my chest, bent my knee, and fell completely backwards. Once I couldn't get up again I knew I'd pulled some sort of abdominal muscle - wasn't too too bad until my husband asked me why I couldn't let the dog out before bed and I had to show him my arsenal of heating pad/ice/pillow that were under the covers with me on the couch!"

A giggle or two from the audience as class started. Rebecca scooted next to me and said, "I kind of did that once. In bowling shoes. To prove I could still put my feet behind my head!"

I didn't want to ask why she needed to prove this, and who cared, but I assumed a few beers were involved and she was winning a bet. My eyebrows must have spoken for me, as she went on to talk about how the bowling shoe got caught behind her head - or was it ear - and the lip of the shoe wouldn't budge. "So, I had to tell them, NO REALLY. I NEED HELP!" but no one came to this damsel in distress' aid - just laughter, and a little finger pointing as Rebecca became a legend at Woody's Lanes that night.

Rebecca isn't so much of a story teller. She listens a lot, laughs, and occasionally shares a story, but this one threw me off. I could just picture the always Merona dressed lady with a leg behind her head smug and ready to make a point until a blush appeared on her cheeks when she realized that leg wasn't going anywhere except the ER if she didn't get it unwrapped fast. But then, the bowling shoe was caught on what - her hair? head? ear? and she had to ask for help all the while hunched over, legs spread, and what? sitting in the middle of a bowling alley?

Just as I laughed out loud as I type this story, I started laughing so hard and powerfully that I got the attention of the entire group (and also took in water from the nostrils, right ear, and mouth - tricky, really)  and kept going under from the weight of the water and not-so-sure footing on the rough pool floor. So, this clown drowning act had twelve exercisers stop to listen. At this point, Rebecca clammed up until she retold it to the ears perked crew. EVERYONE laughed and laughed. Even when we calmed down and started the usual underwater bicycle routine you'd catch someone look at Bec and then laugh again.

In a bowling alley? She wins!